The Morning After: No Pill, Just Hard Work

(Published in Between The Lines Newspaper November 7, 2018)

One of the lasting lessons I learned from Detroit’s legendary activist Jeff Montgomery was no matter what the outcome was of an election, we must prepare for the morning after. As I write this before knowing the results, I know that things could go either for or against us, but we have to be prepared. When he said this advice, Montgomery was talking about the 2004 Michigan vote that made it unconstitutional for the state to recognize or perform same-sex marriages or civil unions. So much was at stake.
The 2018 midterm elections are much the same. So much is at stake, not just for the LGBTQIA community, but for immigrants, education, fair wages, survivors of sexual assault, reproductive rights, voting rights and so much more.
And, no matter what the outcome of the midterm election, we still have a lot of work to do. There are no quick fixes. There’s no morning-after pill to fix all that’s wrong in our communities, our state, our country and in our world.
And as much as I want to believe that rainbow and blue waves can turn the tide on the bright orange tsunami that’s hell-bent on destroying all we hold dear, the reality is things didn’t just get bad since 45 took office; they just got real. Really real.
Racism, homophobia, and transphobia have only been emboldened under 45 but were nothing new for communities of color or members of the LGBTQIA community. We knew we weren’t entering a post-racial period in America with the election of Barack Obama. There was still Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice, Tanisha Anderson, Walter Scott, Sandra Bland, Mike Brown, Eric Garner, and others.
Black Lives Matter but everyday reports of shootings and social and economic disparities said they didn’t. At the same time, rhetoric against other communities of color and immigrants was ratcheted up in daily tweets
And even with the end of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” marriage equality and markedly increased support for LGBTQIA rights across the country and in the White House, the gay community knew there would still be haters.
Despite Trump’s promise to defend LGBTQ rights, his health agency has blocked efforts to combat discrimination. Political appointees have halted or rolled back regulations intended to protect LGBTQ workers and patients, removed LGBTQ-friendly language from documents and reassigned the senior adviser dedicated to LGBTQ health.
In 2017, at least 29 deaths of transgender people in the U.S. due to fatal violence were reported. Right now, 2018 is on track to be even worse for deadly assaults against transgender Americans.
We’ve endured the travel bans, revelations of sexual misconduct and assault that gave life to the #MeToo movement and were reminded again during the Kavanaugh confirmations.
We were appalled by the shootings at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School and inspired by the protests led by the Parkland students.
All of this brought us to the 2018 midterms. Many again had a fire lit in their belly – a burning for justice, equality, freedom, and hope. We’ve marched, rallied, registered voters and rallied some more.
Our mailboxes – electronic and real-world, have been jammed with flyers, pamphlets, and fundraising letters. And we’ve responded showing up and shelling out record numbers to turn the tide with our rainbow and blue waves.
But now what? We still have a lot of work to do.
Unfortunately, when asked why they didn’t vote, there are those who will tell you their vote doesn’t count, that their one vote won’t make a difference. Some have never voted, and others have stopped voting and still use these same excuses.
Democracy is not a sport. There are no slam dunks, Hail Mary passes or home runs. It also is not a spectator sport where we can sit on the sidelines, cheer, hope and pray that our team will win.
Democracy is a living, participative work in progress that takes all of our efforts not only at the polls but every day.
There will be wounds to heal and fences to mend, but let’s commit to doing the work.
Let’s get beyond partisan politics and fight for a system that puts people first. Let’s re-commit to the promise of America that has historically brought immigrants to this country, celebrate their contributions and not let our borders be ruled by fear and hate-mongering.
Let’s provide our children with a safe space to learn, where they’ll learn to think critically, feel safe and recognize they can differ with someone without vilifying them. But most importantly, let them know that they should be respected and free to be their authentic selves, especially if they are LGBTQIA.
Let’s not forget the environment, income inequality, jobs with fair wages, health care and so much more just in this country. But we’re also part of the global community. There’s only one earth and our actions/inactions have global implications.
There’s no morning-after pill to fix all that’s wrong in our communities, our state, our country and in our world, but maybe now that we’ve seen just how ugly things can get, we’re ready to get it done!

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Standing with Survivors, Standing for Justice

By  Originally published in Between The Lines Newspaper October 3, 2018

The stories are all different, but they are the same.

The family friend or member who comes into the bedroom at night. The uncle, grandparent or friend who touches inappropriately with a hug. The boys who cop a feel in the hallway. The “nice” guy who after a few beers forgot that “No means No.”
It’s the jokes that aren’t funny. The lingering looks. The promise of employment if you comply and unemployment if you don’t. It’s harassment, intimidation, abuse and rape whether it happened yesterday or decades ago.
I can’t tell you the date, where the house was or how I got from there to the bus stop to home, but I remember that face, I remember the fear I felt from his anger when I fought back and said no. I said nothing.
As I listened to the reporting before the hearing and watched Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony before the Senate Judiciary committee I remembered all the feelings, all the reasons I said nothing. I remembered.
I believed Anita Hill in 1991! I believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford! I believe Deborah Ramirez! I believe Julie Swetnick. I believe survivors!
Like so many other women, I have been triggered by these proceedings, but more than triggered I am enraged.
Men have exercised the right to rape, assault and harass women, with no recourse, accountability or consequence not just because of patriarchy but also, in part, because we, as a society, have cosigned these actions by slut-shaming, stigmatizing and promoting silence.
We must be “good” girls while “boys will be boys” just “sowing their wild outs.” And even when they admit to sexual assault, bragging in vulgar terms about kissing, groping and trying to have sex with women and grabbing women by their genitals, the remarks are called “locker room banter” and the perpetrator of these acts can go on to become president of the United States.
The Supreme Court is the final judge in all cases involving laws of Congress, and the highest law of all — the Constitution. Its decisions have shaped much of the world we know today.
Brown v. Board of Education ruled unanimously that racial segregation of children in public schools was unconstitutional. The Court’s Roe v. Wade decision changed laws that criminalized or restricted access to abortions, Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission dealt with regulation of political campaign spending by organizations and the Obergefell v. Hodges decision ruled that the fundamental right to marry is guaranteed to same-sex couples.
Decisions made by the Supreme Court are always of national importance. In fact, “equal justice under Law” is its motto, but there was little justice in the Senate Judiciary Committee’s hearings this week with Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh who was accused of sexual assault by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.
And Dr. Ford’s courageous decision to step forward and speak about her own experience of sexual assault is not the only accusation against Judge Kavanaugh. Two other women, Deborah Ramirez and Julie Swetnick have also come forward. It also comes in the wake of the thousands of women speaking out against sexual harassment and violence with the #MeToo movement.
Kavanaugh’s nomination took a step forward, as the Senate Judiciary Committee endorsed Kavanaugh in an 11-10 party-line vote. The eleven being the all white, male republican members of the committee – score one for the patriarchy.
So, here’s where we stand: After a brief one-week FBI investigation the vote goes before the Senate. Eleven white men with a greater allegiance to party than to the people they represent, especially women, have moved forward the nomination Kavanaugh.
In his remarks, Kavanaugh basically declared himself pure as the proverbially-driven snow and, by his account, a candidate for sainthood for his exemplary life, with a testimony filled with tears, barbs and vitriol displaying a temperament no one should want to see on the highest court of the land. But, if confirmed as he stands to be now, the man we saw testifying would sit on the Supreme Court making decisions affecting all of us for decades and we have been triggered by these proceedings. We know the tremendous strength it takes to speak our truths and fight for our survival.
And now, more than ever, we must do just that, speak our truths and fight not just for our survival but for our daughters, our children and their future
. In a few short weeks before the midterm elections and moving forward we must tell our stories, no matter how long ago they occurred. Because these occurrences are not brand-new and they need to end.
We must remind our sisters, mothers, fathers, brothers, friends and neighbors. We must remind them of the times they saw but chose not to see. We must remind them of the beliefs, stigmas and cultural influences that have allowed the violation of women’s bodies, and the bodies of femmes and gender non-conforming people. We must remind them of the politicians’ efforts to silence survivors. We must remember the courage of Ford and take our anger to the polls in November.
I believe Anita Hill! I believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford! I believe Deborah Ramirez! I believe Julie Swetnick!
I BELIEVE SURVIVORS!

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Interview with The Care Plan

Caregiving can be both challenging and rewarding. Working with an organization like The Care Plan can help reduce the stress and help you savor the moments.

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My Speech at Great Lakes Bay Pride Awards Banquet 2018

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Poetic Tribute from 2018 Esteem Awards

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